


Bridezilla vs. Kongs

by zorac



Series: Portland Ninja [4]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game), You Me Her (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:00:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21684898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zorac/pseuds/zorac
Summary: Wedding bells are ringing for the Portland Ninja, but will Max and Kate’s special day go off without a hitch — well, other than when they, y’know, get hitched? Has that actually happened to any superhero ever?Also, why is this story spoofing the title of a movie which isn’t even out yet, and will probably be terrible? Oh, and what’s Victoria’s name doing in the tags?Sequel toBuck RogersandFlash Gordon. Has moreYou Me Herspoilers than those two.
Relationships: Maxine "Max" Caulfield/Kate Marsh
Series: Portland Ninja [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/767412
Comments: 37
Kudos: 20





	1. I'll Be Cleaning Up Bottles with You

###### Kate

I never expected that Max would transform into Bridezilla. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that she’s making everything about _her_ ; she just wants everything to be perfect for _my_ special day. I’ve tried to explain that all I really need is for her to be there when I get to the church, so we can say “I do” in front of God, our friends, and as much of our families as are willing to come. I’ve tried to tell her that, as far as I’m concerned, all the rest is just icing on the cake – and don’t get me started on the cake – but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. Still, for all she’s driving me a little crazy, I know it’s coming from a place of love, and it seems to be making her happy and excited, so I don’t have the heart to put my foot down about it. Plus, I’ve discovered that when she _does_ get a little too wound up about something, distracting her with sex works every time.

A minor panic attack, brought on by the caterers calling to say that they’d have to tweak the menu due to a shortage of some ingredient or other, is why we’re lying in a pleasant post-coital haze on a Saturday afternoon. Not that I should need an excuse to drag my fiancée to the bedroom; watching Max come undone thanks to my fingers, mouth, toys… it’s my new favorite pastime. I stretch, and Max snuggles into me more tightly. “No moving!” she grumbles.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I tell Max, wrapping my arm back around her.

“Sorry for freaking out earlier,” she says after a while.

“That’s okay. Just remember, it’s only a wedding, not the end of the world. And even if it was, we’ve already survived that once.”

Max looks up at me and smiles. “I guess we have, at that.” I give in to the urge to kiss her, and we lose ourselves in that for a few minutes.

“Besides,” I tease her a little later, “if something _does_ go wrong on the day, you can always rewind it!”

“I suppose so.” She pouts a little, giving me a mock-stern look. “Still, I don’t know why I keep letting you distract me like this.”

“You seemed to have a very good idea why a few minutes ago; something about ‘more’ and ‘harder’…”

Max blushes. “Wowsers, Kate, how is it that _I’m_ the prudish one in our relationship?” she mutters.

“Well, it only seems reasonable that I be as serious about having sex as I was about _not_ having it.”

“Well… you are _seriously_ good at it,” she tells me with a wink, and it’s my turn to blush.

“Um… thanks… so… er… are you feeling better about the menu changes?” Really smooth, Kate.

Max looks sheepish. “Yeah. Sorry again about freaking out on you. Well… not _that_ sorry,” she adds, waggling her eyebrows. I roll my eyes, but pull her into a kiss anyway. I toy with the idea of going for a second round, but if we do that, I’m probably going to need a nap afterwards – and we have chores to do. Not everything about adulting can be fun.

“C’mon, time to get back up. You want to do the dishes, or the laundry?”

“Well, I’m the one who failed to wash up after dinner last night, so it’s my fault there are _more_ dirty dishes that there should be, and they’re going to be _harder_ to clean…”

“Stop it, you,” I tell Max, batting playfully at her shoulder. “And you were too tired.” She was doing her superhero thing yesterday, and in addition to physically tiring her out, each rewind makes her day longer, meaning she ends up with a mild form of jet lag.

I force myself to get out of bed and put some clothes on, as the only way I’m going to resist temptation. The moment I’m done, I turn around to find myself enveloped in a hug by Max, who’s only got as far as putting on her bra and panties. “I love you so, so much,” she whispers in my ear.

“I love you too,” I reply, holding her as tightly as I can. As soon as we separate, I turn, grab the laundry basket, and hurry from the room before the last shred of my self-control deserts me.

While I start sorting clothes and loading the machine, I hear Max turn on her police scanner, before making a start on the dishes. I relaxed my rule about her taking time off after each Ninja outing a while back; we had a long talk about it before Max went back after her injury. She’s got much better about knowing what her limits are, and how long it takes her power to ‘recharge,’ so while she might not be ready to tackle a major incident today, she could still help out with something smaller – and I trust her to know the difference.

I’ve spent enough time listening to the scanner that I know most of the lingo by now, so when a dispatcher reports that, “there’s a 10–90 at 23rd and Lovejoy,” I know it’s bank robbery even before she confirms that with the name. “The silent alarm has been triggered, and we’ve had a report of mending gorilla masks,” she adds.

“Oooh, the Kong Gang strikes again!” Max says, melodramatically. The media dubbed them that after their first heist, and this will be the third bank they’ve hit in the last few months.

“Not tempted by that reward?” I tease her, but perhaps with a slight edge of concern to my voice.

“Nope,” she replies immediately. “Too dangerous; besides, what if I burn through all my rewind tracking them down, and there’s some sort of incident where I could have saved lives? I won’t take that chance.”

I turn to look at her. “Thank-you,” I say softly.

Max shrugs. “I made you a promise. Actually, I made you a bunch or promises. I can’t very well marry you if I do something stupid and get myself killed, now, can I?”

“No dying,” I agree. The incident at the school was bad enough, and Max escaped with nothing more than a broken arm that time. I don’t want to think about something worse happening to her.

A few minutes later, dispatch reports that the gang were gone by the time the cops got there. “See? They’re professionals,” says Max. “That’s three times they’ve gotten away clean, and nobody got hurt. I’m willing to step in harms way to save people’s lives, but I’m not doing it to save some rich dudes’ money.”

I pop a Tide pod in the machine and start the wash cycle, then get up, go over to my fiancée, and wrap my arms around her entire upper body. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

“It’s been a few minutes,” she says, and I can hear the smile in her voice. Then, she flails her forearms ineffectually. “Much as I love being held by you, I can’t really finish the dishes like this…”

“Fine,” I grumble, transferring my arms down to her waist and snuggling in.

“You could, oh, I don’t know, grab a towel and help out,” says Max, “or take the garbage out, or…”

“I’m good,” I tell her.

“Yeah, you really are,” she says, and gets back to work.


	2. Glitter on the Floor After the Party

###### Max

It’s the evening of our bachelorette party – Kate and I both flat out refused to refer to it as a hen night – and I’m running a little late. I was caught up in an editorial meeting about some last minute tweaks to an article for tomorrow’s Sunday issue that’s heavy on my photographs. I got a message from Kate to say that her sisters had dragged her off for some pre-drinks after their dress fittings, and that she’d meet me at the bar. This actually works in my favor, as it means she won’t see me getting ready, so my look will be a complete surprise. I grab a quick shower, then do my hair and make-up, wriggle my way into the slinky dress Yasmin helped me pick out – and, sure, I could maybe have used a little help with that, but I manage – then admire myself in the mirror.

Okay, maybe it’s a _really_ good thing Kate isn’t here; we’d probably never have left the apartment given how randy she’s been the last few months. I think that maybe I can have fun torturing her all night, then let her return the favor when we finally get home.

I’m actually only a few minutes late when I get to the bar. Izzy’s BFF Nina works here, so it’s become the regular watering hole for our little gang. Nina also has the owner wrapped around her little finger, so there was no problem for Izzy and Yasmin to book the place out for the night. They’ve clearly been doing a little decorating, with some (mostly) tasteful banners, and pairs of balloons in two shades of pink. Yasmin spots me immediately, and hurries over.

“Wow! I mean, that dress looked good on you in the store, but… damn, girl!” I give her a quick hug, pleased with the open appreciation. “Look, are you sure you want to go through with this whole ‘marriage’ thing?” she whispers in my ear. I pull back to give her a stern look, but her eyes are sparkling, and I know she’s teasing me. “Come on, I _need_ to see Kate’s reaction when she lays eyes on you in this.”

She leads me over to the table where the three Marsh sisters are sitting. Kate has her back to us, so it’s Ruth who spots me first; her eyebrows raise, and a huge grin erupts onto her face. I’ve met her a few times over the past couple of years, either here, or when I went with Kate to visit her at college. Lynn, on the other hand, was still living at home until a few weeks ago, so neither of us have seen her since Kate came out to their parents.

Kate slowly turns around. Her jaw drops, and her eyes bug slightly as she takes me in. “Holy forking shirtballs,” she manages at last, “you look _incredible_.” She’s on her feet and pulling me into a kiss before I can say ‘mind my lipstick.’ I immediately find I don’t care; besides, it was supposed to be non-smudge anyway. Finally we come up for air, and I realize the other women around us are clapping and cheering. “It’s so unfair you get to look this good, when it’s hours before I get to do anything about it.” Kate may have turned out to have quite the sexual appetite, but she’s still not one for a quickie in the ladies’ room.

I take advantage of her stepping back a little to take in _her_ outfit. “You look fucking gorgeous too,” I tell Kate. The dress she’s wearing might not be a slinky as mine, but it’s significantly lower cut than anything I’ve seen her wear in public before. “If you want to skip out early, I’m game.”

“No, no, that would be rude. Come on, say hello to my sisters.”

Ruth jumps up to give me a quick hug. “Hi, Max, it’s good to see you again. How are you doing? It’s only a few weeks now, and then you’ll be stuck with Kate forever.”

“I can’t image a better fate,” I tell her. She’s never been less than completely supportive of Kate’s relationship with me, and has even come to march with us at Pride.

“Good answer,” Ruth replies with a smile. “I rather fancy that my sister feels the same way… and so do I. You won’t be getting rid of me or Lynn, either.”

“A good thing too, I think that might be the one thing Kate wouldn’t be able to forgive.”

Lynn is more reserved, simply shaking my hand. “Hello, Max, it’s nice to see you again. I’m sorry it’s been so long.”

“You too, and I understand. Your mother has… strongly-held opinions.”

“That she does.” She rests her other hand on mine as well. “I want you to know that I don’t share those opinions, but… I was always much closer to her, and it’s been hard for me to shake off her influence, and to accept Kate’s sexuality.”

“I’m sure your sister appreciates that you made the effort, and I do as well. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters. What’s this about pre-drinks, though? Were you two trying to get my fiancée tipsy?”

Lynn laughs. “It was Ruth’s idea to go to a cocktail bar we saw and take advantage of their happy hour. She was perfectly fine with Kate and I having mocktails, so I think it was more for her own benefit than anyone else’s.”

“That’s good to know,” I tell her with a grin. “Look, it was lovely to meet you, but I should probably go circulate. We’ll have plenty of time to catch up tomorrow, right?”

She nods. “Yes, Ruth’s not planning on driving us back until the evening.” Kate’s sisters are both at colleges in Seattle.

Kate turns back from talking to her other sister, and pulls me into another kiss. “Are you two going to be doing that all evening?” Ruth asks.

“It’s a distinct possibility,” Kate tells her blithely. “C’mon you, let’s get some drinks, and then we can mingle.”

We head over to the bar, where Jack is helping out Shaun for the evening, since the guest list was ladies only. Kate gets a glass of wine, and I pick one of their new craft beers. Izzy and Emma are both there as well, and we get some more rather ribald comments on our outfits; Jack, for once, has enough sense not to risk the ire of his partners by saying anything. I’m hoping that the thruple drama is behind them now, and they can just settle down as a happy family. Izzy’s been a fantastic friend to Kate, and the Trakarskys have become good friends too.

After chatting to them, we circulate the room, talking to colleagues from the paper or the youth center, and the other friends we’ve made in Portland. Looking around, I’m honestly surprised at how many people are here; Kate and I used to be pretty co-dependent even before we started officially dating, but instead of making that worse, our engagement actually brought both of us out of our shells and socializing more. Or, maybe, that was Yasmin and Izzy’s influence, since those friendships started around that time too.

I’m another two or thee beers in when I see another woman enter the bar, wearing a full fire-fighting gear. I know a couple of Yasmin’s female colleagues from Fire and Rescue, but this woman doesn’t look familiar. “Do you know her?” Kate asks, coming up behind me. I shake my head. “And why is she… oh, they wouldn’t. You did tell them ‘no strippers,’ right?”

“I kind of assumed it went without saying! You didn’t speak to them either?”

“No.” Kate replies. “Maybe it’s just a misunderstanding?” She asks, part hopeful, but mostly resigned.

The woman spots us just as the music abruptly cuts off. “I heard that there were a couple of ladies here who are _on fire!_ ” she shouts.

“I’m going to kill her,” I mutter.

“Which one?” Kate asks, as our so-called friends start cheering and whistling, and the unmistakable strains of _You Can Keep Your Hat On_ begin.

“Both of them; it’s the only way to be sure.” Kate and I share a helpless expression, and turn to face our fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting plan is a pair of chapters every Thursday; I have drafts of the next four, so I may even manage to stick to that…


	3. If You Strike Out and You’re Crawling Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why, hello there, new narrator!

###### Victoria

I honestly have no idea what I’m doing here. My relationship with the two brides-to-be mostly consists of a few weeks of bullying them in high school, which was brought to a sudden halt by the literal destruction of the entire fucking town. I’ve only seen them a couple of times since then, on the years when I actually made it to the Arcadia Bay memorial. Okay, so I guess my original point is ‘I don’t understand why Kate and Max invited me to their wedding.’ I accepted because I owe Kate my life, so I can hardly say no to her.

That was the worst week of my life; I’m pretty sure that even if I live to be a hundred, I’m not going to come close to topping it. It started with my best friend turning out to be a murderer, followed by Kate trying to kill herself because of my bullying, and then to cap it all, the storm. I was in my dorm room when it hit; I hadn’t gone out since the Wednesday morning when the first rumors started circulating about what Mark and Nathan had been doing – I guess we’ll never know the full truth, since the police station was turned into a smoldering ruin. After the windows blew in, I hid under my bed and waited for the storm to pass. Instead, a few minutes later, the whole building began to shake, the floor dropped away, and then… nothing.

I now know that it was almost a day before I woke up, trapped in near darkness. I was hardly able to breathe, let alone move, and I had no feeling at all below my waist. I could barely hear my own pitiful cries for help, so how Kate did is something I can only describe as a miracle. She kept talking to me the whole time the National Guard engineers were digging me out, and when they finally brought me up to the surface, she held me in her arms while the medic checked me out, and told me that I was going to be okay. It took some time – and a redefinition of what I mean by ‘okay’ – but I did finally get there.

I push those thoughts aside and head towards the church, grateful to see that somebody has put a ramp down. I propel myself inside, where I’m greeted by an attractive young woman in a sharply tailored pantsuit. “Hi, you must be Victoria,” she says warmly. “I’m Yasmin, Max’s best woman.” She puts a faint emphasis on them word ‘best.’

I can’t help but smile. “I thought that would be Kate.”

She laughs. “Sadly, you’re right; but I decided it would be entirely too confusing to have _two_ Maids of Honor, so I insisted on this job title instead.”

“More confusing than there being two _brides_?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re right, that’s where my argument falls down. Mostly I did it just to mess with Max; I have entirely too much fun playing the overly flirty bestie, particularly given that our friendship started with me hitting on her.” Hopefully that means that the way her gaze is roaming over me is due to checking out the hottie rather than the eying up the cripple. “Nice guns, by the way,” she adds. Yup, definitely checking me out. “From all the wheeling, I guess?”

“Yeah. Looks like I’m not the only one, though.” Yes, I most definitely noticed _all_ the places where Yasmin’s nicely filling out that suit of hers. “What’s your excuse?”

“I’m a firefighter; staying in top shape is part of the job.” Hmm. Definitely not imagining her in uniform right now. Nope. The smirk on Yasmin’s face tells me that I’m caught. “Anyway, did you want to stay in your chair, or transfer to one of the pews?”

“I’ll stick with my chair, thanks.” If I transfer, I’ll just end up with people having to push past me to get in or out, and wondering why I don’t stand when Kate arrives.

“No problem.” She walks over to one of the rear pews, and pulls a section of it adjacent to the aisle back, and to the side, leaving a space for me to wheel into. “There you go.” She glances towards the front of the church. “I should probably get back to Max, before she starts freaking out, but I’ll see you at the reception, okay?”

“I’d like that,” I admit, “and thanks again.” Yasmin leaves, and I pull out my phone to catch up on Instagram. It’s maybe ten minutes or so before someone interrupts me.

“Well, you’ve got some nerve coming here!” I look up and see a vaguely familiar face. Former Blackwell student, had purple hair back then… Alyssa.

“What? You seriously think I don’t have anything better to do than gatecrash somebody’s wedding? If I’m not invited to a party, then it’s not worth going to.”

“Yeah, right,” Alyssa snorts.

I force myself off the defensive. “Seriously, though. I was planning on politely declining the invitation, until Kate actually phoned me and told me that I ‘darn well better be coming’. I’m certainly not rude enough to ignore that.”

She looks at me for a moment, then sighs. “Sorry. I forget that you’re not Vortex Club Victoria any more. Besides, if anyone could forgive you, it would be Kate.”

I wave aside her apology. “That’s fine, Alyssa. I can’t blame you for remembering me the way I was. Besides, the car I got her probably helped.”

“You… bought Kate a car?” I nod, and she squints at me. “Do you, like, have a crush on her or something?”

I smile. “Well, she is _very_ cute… but I don’t have the right to think about Kate that way. Besides, Max would kill me if I tried anything.”

Alyssa laughs. “True. Well, we should probably catch up at the reception; Kate’ll be here soon.”

“Yes, let’s,” I agree. Alyssa goes to find a seat, and not a minute later, the organ goes quiet for a moment, before starting up the wedding march. I turn, and see two bridesmaids who can only be Kate’s younger sisters, followed by a woman I don’t recognize, but assume to be the Maid of Honor. Behind her comes Kate, looking absolutely beautiful, on the arm of an elderly woman I guess must be her grandmother – presumably meaning that neither of her parents was willing to be here; that gives me a hot flash of anger. Kate catches my eye for a brief moment, and I force a smile at her.

I know what it’s like to be rejected by one’s parents. After the storm, when it became clear to my parents that no, a broken back wasn’t something I was going to fully recover from, they simply wrote me off. Suddenly, it was my cousin who they were talking about as the heir to the Chase Space, as if I wouldn’t be able to work perfectly well from a wheelchair. No, I no longer had the perfect image they felt the business required. Of course, they instead throw money at me, out of guilt – much like I did with Kate – but that’s the only contact I have with them. Still, I guess that means I no longer need to worry about coming out to them, and the inevitable rejection which would have followed…


	4. You and Me for Evermore

###### Kate

This isn’t a moment I would ever have conceived of back in my teens: me, walking down the aisle to be married to another woman. I mean, sure, even back then I didn’t buy into the dogma about homosexuality being evil; I was determined to be a good ally, but I didn’t imagine that I’d be one of us. The stories of me falling for Max, and coming to terms with the fact that I’m gay, are two sides of the same coin. The first time I saw her after she moved to Portland, I remember thinking, _gosh, she’s so pretty!_ I’d noticed some of the female students at PSU in the same way, and that – coupled with Max openly telling me about how she’d been in love with Chloe – started me thinking.

It was a month before I had the courage to talk to Max about it, to tell her that it was almost always women I found attractive, not men. She gave me a hug, and told me that she’d be there to help me figure it all out, however I ended up identifying. That was it; no pressure, no assertion that ‘obviously I was gay’, just an offer of advice, and a friendly ear. Thanks to her guidance, I found a church – this church – with an openly gay pastor, where I could feel safe and supported. It took longer than I expected to shake off the hateful words of my Mother’s voice, but eventually _she’s so pretty_ became _I have a crush on her_. In time, I realized that Max felt the same way about me, and… well, here we are.

My parents, not unexpectedly, aren’t. We haven’t spoken since I told them who I was engaged to, so they don’t even know that the wedding’s today. Now that all their daughters have left home, they can no longer keep such close tabs on us, so they have no idea that my sisters are acting as my bridesmaids either. I think that all three of us are secretly thrilled to be pulling one over on them. Behind Lynn and Ruth is Izzy – my maid of honor and closest friend – and on my arm is my grandmother, who supported this wedding before I even thought of proposing. Most importantly, waiting for me at the altar, is Max. ‘Pretty’ isn’t the word I would use to describe her today; dressed in a vest and tailcoat, ‘handsome’ seems more appropriate than ‘beautiful’. The smile she gives me when I stop next to her is nothing short of dazzling.

A few vows, hours, and speeches later, my wife and I finally get the chance to circulate amongst our guests. The second table we go to houses a few of Max’s friends from the newspaper where she works, so of course they’re the first to find out that, “the Kong Gang have tried to rob another bank. Only, this time, the cops got there before they got away, and they’ve taken a bunch of kids who were touring the bank hostage.”

“Sorry,” says Max, “could you please excuse us for a few moments.”

“It’s our wedding day…” I say, half-heartedly, once we’re safely away from prying ears.

“I know the timing sucks, but if I do nothing, and some of those kids die…”

“…then neither of us would be able to forgive ourselves.” I can see it now; the blame, the recriminations, the fighting, our shiny new marriage falling apart.

“If you ask me to stay, I will. I always will, but…” I can’t bear to let her finish that sentence.

“I know, and I would never ask you to.” I summon up my best Kirsten Dunst impression. “Go get ’em, tiger!” It takes Max a moment to get the reference, but she laughs and pulls me into a kiss.

“I’ll be back before you know it.” With that, she turns and hurries off, grabbing Yasmin on that way out.

“You’d better,” I whisper to myself. Scanning the crowd, I see Victoria watching; she hurriedly turns her wheelchair away. I _do_ want to talk to her, but not right now. I need my bestie, and I see Izzy talking to her two partners. “Hi Emma, Jack,” I say, “thank-you so much for coming.”

“Of course; you were there to support us.” Emma’s referring to their poly-commitment ceremony, which was the first time I met her. Since then, the five of us have had dinner together a bunch of times, although not since our bachelorette party. Jack always good-naturedly moans about being out-numbered, and someone always points out that he doesn’t usually seem to have a problem with that. Plenty of guys would love to be in his position; some women, too.

Wait, where did that thought come from? It’s my wedding day, and already I’m thinking about cheating on my wife. No. Not that. _Never_ that. Just… a sudden realization that if the right woman came along – right for Max, as well as for me – polyamory is something I might actually consider. Me, Kate Marsh, former Abstinence Club President. Okay, so it’s probably never going to happen, and it’s certainly not something I’m going to go looking for, but I try to imagine the look on my Mother’s face nonetheless. Her head explodes.

“Kate? You still with us?” asks Jack, a concerned look on his face. To be fair, his face looks that way a lot.

“Um, yeah, sorry. Just got distracted for a moment there. Could I borrow my Maid of Honor for a moment?”

“Sure,” says Emma, and Jack nods.

“What’s up, Kate?” Izzy asks as I lead her away. She looks around. “Did you lose your wife already? No, wait, you need me to cause a distraction so you can sneak off for some afternoon delight.”

I can’t help but snigger at that, rather than blushing like I would with anyone else. Izzy is the only person I feel comfortable talking to about my sex life. “If only,” I tell her, “Max had to go do her hero thing.”

“Seriously? Today?”

“I know, right?” I sigh. “It’s not like I actually asked her not to, heck, I _want_ her to go save those kids, it’s just… could God not have given her just this one day off?”

Izzy looks askance at me. “Is that really what you’re thinking?”

Darn. She knows me too well. “No. I’m sure She has more important things to do than keep the calendar clear for my wedding. I’m just frustrated.” Izzy doesn’t say anything, like she can see me thinking. “Y’know, this is partly my Mother’s fault. She would always tell me how everything would be magically perfect once I got married, only now I am, and everything’s the same as it was before. I mean, Max and I were already living together, sleeping together, sharing finances… I’m not sure what I expected, other than a piece of paper, and I get to call myself _Mrs_ Kate Marsh.”

“That’s the thing, Kate. In your mother’s world, you and Max wouldn’t have done any of those things; you’d lose your virginity on the wedding night, and move into your new home together when you got back from the honeymoon. Actually, scratch that. In your mother’s world, you would never be marrying Max _ine_ at all. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that you were already married, in all but name, and after what the two of you have been through, _nothing_ is ever going to break you apart.”

“Thanks, Iz. That was a pretty awesome pep talk.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been practicing ever since you gave me this job, although I was expecting it to be more Yasmin who was having to give them.”

I laugh. “Well, you’re probably not wrong about that.”

“Go spend some time with your family,” she suggests.

“That’s an excellent idea,” I say, then give her a quick hug. Quickly looking around, I see my sisters are off mingling, so I head over to the table where my grandmother is sitting, along with my great aunt and her partner. “Hi Grandma, Anna, Justine. Thanks so much for being here today.”

“Of course,” Grandma says. “If my son has his head too far up his own ass to stand up for his daughter, then of course I’m more than willing to take his place. I’m so happy for you, and I’m so proud of you for not letting your parents’ misguided beliefs keeping you from finding your happiness.”

“I’m glad you have all these freedoms that were denied us,” Anna adds.

“We only have those because your generation fought for them,” I point out.

“We may have stated the fight, but the first real victories came much later; and, sad to say, the fight is still not over.” Justine says, bitterly.

“You’re right about that,” I admit. “What about you two – ever thought of getting married?”

They share a look. “We’ve talked about it,” Anna says, “but after all this time, it just feels like it’s too late for us; like we’d be saying the first fifty years of our relationship weren’t good enough.”

“I can understand that,” I say, nodding slowly. “I just hope Max and I get to spend as long together as you two have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hands up who didn't see that coming. Anyone? Bueller?


	5. If You’re the Toast of the Town

###### Max

Yasmin drops me off just around the corner from the bank. Over the last couple of years, I’ve – or, at least, the Portland Ninja has – gained the grudging respect of emergency services here. Fire and Rescue were first, obviously, but the Police no longer see a vigilante; rather, someone is occasionally able to help them out by doing things they can’t. I’m allowed through the perimeter without having to rewind, and when I get inside, I find that the Lieutenant in charge is one who Yasmin introduced me to at an incident a few months back.

“Hi, Chloe; I’d almost given up on you coming. We could really use your help,” she says without preamble. I’ve kept the cover name I used when I first introduced myself to Yasmin. Having people calling me ‘er… Ninja?’ was always hella awkward.

“Sorry, I was at my wedding reception,” I tell her, with a touch of sarcasm.

She winces. “In that case, kudos on changing out of your dress so fast.”

“Oh, it was my wife who wore the dress. I don’t look good in skirts.” Actually, scratch that; I remember all the looks I got when I wore a dress a few weeks back. I don’t feel _comfortable_ in skirts.

“Oh. Okay.” Oops, did I just out myself as a queer superhero?

“So, what’s the situation?”

“Just over an hour ago, four armed robbers in gorilla masks entered the bank. Their bad luck is that we changed some patrol routes today, so we had a couple of cars here within a couple of minutes of the silent alarm being triggered. Our bad luck is that there was a bunch of Girl Scouts having a tour of the bank today, and they were in the vault when this happened. When the guys covering the lobby saw our officers arrive, they all retreated down there.”

“So… have they locked themselves in? That would be a little beyond what I’m able to do anything about.” An hour is at least twice as far as I can rewind, even with a second push.

“Not completely; the vault is hermetically sealed, so if they shut the door, they’ll suffocate – along with the hostages. They appear to have some sort of camera set up to watch the vault approach, though.” Okay, a partially open door should be enough to get me in there, but then what?

“I might be able to help… give me a couple of minutes to try and come up with a plan.” I grab Yasmin as she comes in, grateful to have someone to bounce ideas off, and we huddle up in a corner.

“Ever since the bomb in the school, I’ve been practicing freezing time, so I can use that trick to get in there, but… then what?”

“Can you just drag them out one at a time and hand them over to the cops?” she asks.

“Not easily; I can take someone with me as I rewind but, as you know, they stay conscious. I’d need to be able to incapacitate them first.”

“Can you, I dunno, hit them over the head with something?”

“I’d need to go back to normal time first, and that gives their friends the opportunity to riddle me with bullets. Even if I could do it, I’d still run into the risk of rewinding too far and undoing what I’ve already done.”

“So you need something instant. Take them out before they can take you out.”

“Well, sure, I could just shoot them. Gun to the head, resume time for just long enough to pull the trigger, repeat.” Yasmin stares at me, horrified. “Obviously I’m not serious. I honestly don’t think I could do that under _any_ circumstances, not after what happened to Chloe and Kate; I certainly don’t need any more fodder for my nightmares. Besides, I know for a fact that Kate could never truly forgive me. She’d try, but…” I don’t even want to think about finishing that sentence.

Yasmin reached out to briefly rest her hand on mine. “Of course.” She looks around. “The cops have Tasers as well as regular guns; is that something you could work with?”

“Maybe… I’d probably need one for each of the bad guys, and I’ll need a way to jimmy the triggers so that they can all go off at once…”

A few minutes later, I’m headed down to the vault with half a dozen Tasers holstered around my waist, and some wedges to keep them firing. I still don’t like what I’m about to do, but I don’t see a better option. No way can I rewind a couple of dozen times to bring the hostages out individually, and I rather doubt that the robbers would give me the chance to daisy-chain them like I did at the orphanage. Just before turning the last corner, I summon up my power, and freeze time. Thankfully, the vault door is open wide enough for me to sneak through and take in the scene. Only one of the gorilla-masked criminals has his gun ready, covering the hostages; the other three are huddled together, and it looks like they’re mid-argument. I decide to tackle _them_ first.

I pull out my first Taser, take aim, then let time start to run at a fraction of its normal speed as I pull the trigger. I watch the darts fly out in slow motion, and crawl through the air to embed themselves in the robber’s back. The moment I see him react to the electric shock, I re-freeze time – not entirely sure what will happen. Thankfully, everything stops; it seems my influence extends around half-way down the conducting wires. Carefully, I slide the wedge into the trigger-guard, then set the Taser down on the floor. I deal with the other two men in the same way; they’re barely starting to react, as less than a second can have passed in their time.

The last guy is my concern. He’s started to turn towards me, but his gun is still pointed towards the kids. I don’t have much choice other than to keep going, but now I run time as slowly as I can manage. When the barbs hit, I keep my eye on the gun. Sure enough, just like I feared, his trigger finger contracts, and it goes off. I drop the Taser, and it hangs in mid-air like Wile E. Coyote, not yet realizing that it’s supposed to fall. I trace the path of the slow moving bullet to where a girl – maybe ten years old – is sat against the concrete rear wall of the vault.

I freeze time completely, then go over to the girl. I take her hand, and pull her into my time stream. She looks at me in shock for a moment, then smiles. “I knew you would save us,” she tells me with an innocent certainty that makes my heart clench. “Woah!” she says, looking around, seeing everything and everyone froze in place, “this is _so cool!_ ”

I can’t help myself; I grin. “Yeah, it is pretty neat. Now, I just need you to move over a little.” I point out the bullet, and pull her out of its path. Slowly, I allow time to trickle forwards until the bullet embeds itself in the wall. I stop when I see shrapnel starting to come back out; not good. I think for a moment. “I’m going to need to let you go now,” I tell the girl, gesturing at where the bullet hit. “I need to sort that out, then go fetch the cops. Can you make sure that none of your friends go near those gorillas?”

She nods vigorously. “Yes, Ma’am!”

“Thank-you,” I tell her. A moment later, she’s a statue. I go back to the last Taser – which does appear to have dropped a foot or so since I left it – pull it from the air, wedge it, and set it on the floor like the others. Then, I remove the flak jacket which Yasmin insisted I wear, and go over to the bullet hole. I press the jacket over the frozen shrapnel, lean against it, and release my hold on time. I feel I slight _thump_ , and hear the beginnings of a dozen screams. The four masked criminals drop to the floor, convulsing. Just to be safe, I kick the gun out of the last guy’s hand.

I freeze time, head up stairs to give the cops the all clear, then back down again to wait for them to arrive. My new sidekick is already getting her friends organized; the adult supervision don’t seem to have pulled themselves together yet. It’s less than thirty seconds before the cavalry swoop in to de-tase and cuff the bad guys, and escort the civilians out. I’m directed back to the lobby, where Yasmin and the lieutenant are waiting for me.

“Thank-you for your help today,” she tells me, shaking my hand. “Thanks to you, we’ve avoided what could easily have become a very unpleasant situation.”

“You’re welcome. I’m always happy to help where I can.”

“Would you be willing to work more closely with us?”

“I dunno, would that come with my very own bat-signal?”

“Er…”

“I’m kidding. Seriously, though, there are limits to what I can do – and how often I can do it. Plus I need to fit the heroics in around my real life…”

“Of course.” She offers me a card. “Please get in touch if you ever change your mind. For now, I should let you get back to your wedding reception before your bride has second thoughts.”


	6. When You’re Lost and I’m Scared

###### Victoria

The moment I’ve been both anticipating and dreading arrives; I see Kate walking over to me. “Hello, Victoria,” she says softly, as she pulls out a chair, and sits down.

“Hi, Kate,” I manage. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks. It’s… good to see you. It’s been years; we missed you at the memorials.”

“I wanted to go but…” I hesitate, then hear my therapist’s voice in the back of my head. _There’s no shame in what you feel._ Kate will understand. “Returning to Arcadia Bay brought back memories. Nightmares. After the first couple of times, I just… couldn’t face it.”

Kate rests a hand on my arm. “It’s the same for Max, but…” she shrugs helplessly. “She blames herself for what happened to Chloe, for not saving her. The angriest she’s ever gotten at me was the one time I suggested that we maybe not go that year’s memorial.” She sighs. “I know all too well what having memories of that time stirred up can do; I could never judge you for protecting yourself from that.”

_Of course_ she would be understanding. “Thanks, Kate, and thank-you for saving me back then, and… I’m sorry…” I can feel my emotions getting away from me, my face turning red, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. Kate reaches up, and wipes them away.

“We’ve been over this before, Victoria. I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago.”

I take a deep breath, feel the panic begin to recede, and a strange calmness wash over me. “I know.” And, for the first time, I feel like I actually do. “I’m not sure I was ready to accept that until now.”

“That’s good, then; I’m glad you’re making progress.”

“I still feel like I should apologize for trying to buy the forgiveness I wasn’t even ready for.”

“Oh, no, don’t you dare.” Kate leans in, conspiratorially. “Honestly? I _love_ the Jag, and I won’t let you make me feel guilty about having accepted it.”

I simply stare at her earnest expression for a moment, then burst into laughter. “In that case, please keep it as a token of my esteem.” Kate raises an eyebrow. “Which reminds me, when I mentioned the car to Alyssa earlier, she actually asked if I have a crush on you.”

“Do you?” Kate asks, bluntly.

“I make a point not to have crushes on married women.”

“I’ve only been married for a few hours,” she points out.

“True, but even before then… there’s too much history for me to feel comfortable thinking about you that way. Perhaps in another life, where I could just see you as a kind, smart, and beautiful young woman…”

Another voice breaks into out conversation. “Victoria? Are you hitting on my wife, at our wedding?”

“What? No! Max, I…”

I look up, and see her grinning. “Relax, I’m teasing you. Thanks for coming, and… for all the references and shit. I… really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome, I’m always happy to help out a fellow talented photographer.”

“Anyway, do you mind if I steal Kate away? I have plans for her.” She murmurs something in her wife’s ear, and there’s something almost predatory in her expression.

“Of course not. Kate, it was lovely to catch up with you.”

“You too, Victoria. Maybe we’ll get the chance to talk some more later this evening.” She gets up, and lets Max lead her away, speaking to her in a low whisper that I’m clearly not meant to overhear. “Honestly, Max, I love that you do all these heroic things, but if you think I’m going to let you top me just because you saved a bunch of kids…”

Yasmin, who’d returned with Max, takes the seat Kate just vacated. “I _really_ didn’t need to hear that,” I tell her.

“Neither did I,” she mutters. I think for a moment, a whole bunch of things coming together in my mind.

“So, are you, like, Max’s Agent Coulson or something?”

“I guess… wait, what?”

“Oh, come on. Even if Kate’s whisper wasn’t enough of a giveaway, Max vanished right after I heard people talking about that bank heist. Fifteen minutes later, the Portland Ninja showed up and saved the day. A quarter hour after _that_ , Max arrived back here. Plus… back in Arcadia Bay, after the storm, there were stories going on about Max saving people, like she could see the future or something. So, I guess she had whatever this superpower is back then.”

“You can’t tell _anyone_ ,” Yasmin begins.

“Wasn’t planning on it. I’ve already hurt Kate enough for one lifetime.” Another realization hits me. “ _This_ is what Kate meant when she said Max blames herself.”

“That’s… not my story to tell. But to answer your earlier question, yes, as one of the people who knows her secret identity, I am kinda an unofficial liaison between the Portland Ninja and the emergency services. I asked Max out after she saved my life, and apparently Kate thought that was a great idea.”

“Er… what?”

“Not a _date_ date, but she decided that Max could use a friend who not only knows the truth, but actually has some experience with the situations she gets herself into. We’ve been good friends ever since.”

“So, are you the only one who knows?”

Yasmin shakes her head. “Izzy does as well; she’s Kate’s confidante for all this shit. And there’s this psycho who tired to kill the Ninja a couple of years back; he figured it out. There are probably some people who worked on that case who made the connection, but they all seem to have decided to protect her secret identity. I trust that you’ll do the same.”

“Of course.” I already said that. 

“So, you were at that school with Max and Kate, you were there when all that shit went down?” I nod. “Is that how you…” she gestures at my wheelchair, then looks embarrassed. “Sorry, I’m being rude.”

I shake my head. “No, it’s okay, and yes, it turns out that having a building land on you is not good for your back. So, yeah, I get to be on the list of people for whom that was a truly sucky week.”

“Near the top, I would think.”

“I’m not so sure. I suspect that psychological trauma is harder to overcome. Of course, it helps that I can afford this fancy chair, and to make sure that everything at home and work is accessible, and adapted for my needs. Not every wheelchair user is so fortunate.”

“You’re really not what I was expecting,” Yasmin says.

“Oh, I can still be a total bitch,” I tell her with a grin, “but nowadays I save that for people who actually deserve it. Let’s just say that what happened that week helped me to put things into perspective – and confront some hard truths about myself. I’m not saying that it was a good thing, but it certainly made me a better person. Anyway, enough about me, tell me how you came to meet the ‘Portland Ninja.’”

“Well, it started with a fire at an orphanage…”


	7. Candle Wax and Polaroids on the Hardwood Floor

###### Kate

“I think I’m going to need a shower before I put that dress back on,” I tell Max, once I’ve got my breath back. “Which you’ll have to help me with, by the way. Remind me again why you got to wear that nice, easy to put on suit?”

“’Cause you wear skirts all the time, and I wear them approximately never?”

I pout at her. “You could have got a dress for this evening, like Yasmin did. I would have been _very_ appreciative.”

Max laughs. “If you were any more _appreciative_ , I don’t think I’d survive! Although… I may have to join you in that shower.”

“You’ll make us late for the party,” I reluctantly point out. “It would be quicker if we showered separately.”

“Maybe, but it’d also be a lot less fun. Besides, it’s _our_ party; they won’t start without us – and I can always rewind us if we’re _really_ late.”

It turns out that we _do_ end up missing the start of the party but, as a waiting Izzy tells us outside the ballroom, “you’ve only just avoided missing your First Dance, so let’s pretend that the timing of your arrival was deliberate instead of the result of the two brides behaving like a pair of horny teenagers.”

“I want to argue with that,” Max says, “but I honestly can’t – and I have zero regrets.”

Izzy just laughs, and winks at us. “I’ll let the band know you’re here, and you can make your grand entrance when they introduce you.” She slips through the door, and a couple of minutes later, after finishing their current song, we get our cue.

“Ladies, gentlemen, and those of you beyond the binary, please be upstanding to welcome our guests of honor for their first dance as married women. Allow me to present our beautiful brides, Mrs. Kate Marsh and Mrs. Max Caulfield!” I share a look with Max, and we push open the double doors to be greeted by deafening applause. The dining tables have mostly been moved back against the walls, leaving a dance floor in the middle of the room. The cheering crowds part, leaving an open space for us – not that we need much room.

The band start to play Taylor Swift’s _New Year’s Day_ , the first song we slow-danced to together, on our very first date. That was not long after the building site disaster, the day when we first admitted our true feelings to each other. I allow Max to lead and – just like then – she has no intention of leaving any room for Jesus. That’s fine with me; we may have been making love less than an hour ago, but I was already missing the feeling of her body pressed up against mine.

After the first chorus, other couples join us on the dance floor; Max’s parents, Anna and Justine, Lynn and Ruth, Izzy and Yasmin, Jack and Emma, and several more. I smile contentedly, and lean in to kiss my wife. “I love you so much,” I tell her.

“I love you too,” she replies, “but enjoy this while you can, because soon we’re going to have to dance with our guests instead of each other.”

True to Max’s words, we’re intercepted after our dance by Izzy and Yasmin. Smiling, I hold out an arm to my maid of honor, and she graciously takes it. “So, how’s married life treating you so far?” she asks as the band start another slow song, and I pull her close. “Since I caught you sneaking back from your afternoon delight, I guess there’s no need to worry about it killing your sex life just yet.”

“No indeed,” I tell my friend with a laugh, “we almost didn’t make it back at all.”

“And you’re really doing okay with your parents not being here?”

I sigh. “I wish my Mom was the kind of person who would have been thrilled to be a part of her daughter’s wedding, no matter who she was marrying. But, since she’s not, I’m _glad_ she isn’t here; I wouldn’t have been able to trust her not to ruin everything. And as for my Dad… him, I’m just disappointed in. While he’s certainly not thrilled about me being gay, from the few times we’ve been able to talk privately, I know he’s accepted it. But, apparently he cares more about not upsetting his wife than he does about supporting his daughter, so…” I shrug. “I’ve got plenty of other family here, people who’d _do_ care.”

“Honestly, Kate, what’s the point of having a shrink for a friend if you’re going to be so well-adjusted?” Izzy asks, her eyes twinkling.

“Because you’re awesome? Besides, if I ever feel the need for some psychiatric advice, I can always go to Nina.”

Izzy snorts. “Well, she’d either cure you or kill you, that’s for sure.” Then, belated realizing what she’d said, “I’m sorry, Kate, I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s fine. That was a long time ago. I’ve got a much happier life – and a much better support system – now.” Even so, I want to get off the subject. “How are things with you, really?”

“They’re good, honestly. I mean, I sometime used to feel like my life was some crazy TV show: more shit going on that should ever happen to a real person, unexpected plot twists, and a big finish for each season finale. But everything’s been… _normal_ for months now, so I guess that _The Unicorn_ got cancelled – in a ‘we’re going to give you a final season to wrap everything up’ kind of way.”

“ _The Unicorn_ , hmm?” I know what that means in the context of polyamory. “So it was all about you? Did I get to appear in this show?”

Izzy considers this. “Maybe a minor role, but to be honest, Nina makes a more compelling fit for the ‘slightly crazy best friend’ character. You’re just a little bit too…”

“Boring?”

“Together.”

“Nice save, Iz.”

“But hey, if they wanted to do a spinoff show about _The Portland Ninja_ , then you’d get to play the hero’s long-suffering girlfriend. Of course, that would probably involve you getting constantly abducted by the villain of the week, so…”

“I’ll pass; I had enough experience with that back at Blackwell.” Our dance comes to an end, and I give her a big hug. “Thanks for being here for me today, and…”

“It was a pleasure. Now, go dance with the rest of your adoring fans.”

I’m not sure how many people I’ve taken a turn with when I finally get the chance to dance with another Blackwell alumnus. “Alyssa!” I pull her into a hug. “It’s been too long.” She was the first friend I made in senior year, and we’ve stayed in touch ever since, even if we don’t get to see each other very often.

“ _Way_ too long,” she agrees. “Damn, look at you, married to a woman. Almost makes me wish that more than one of the haters was here to see it.”

“Alyssa…” I begin, but she cuts me off.

“What’s going on with you and Victoria? She said something about buying you a car, and… you never mentioned that to me. The whole thing seems kinda weird.”

I sigh and lead her over to an empty table, then sit down. “There’s nothing ‘going on’ between me and Victoria. We’re just friends; and that’s pretty much entirely on Facebook. Today’s only the third time I’ve seen her since high school.”

“So if the car’s not a romantic gesture, it’s… what, trying to buy forgiveness?”

“Partly, yes, or at least that’s how she saw it. I forgave her years ago.”

“Kate, she nearly killed you.”

“No. _I_ nearly killed me. Yes, that awful video she posted was part of what drove me there, but it wasn’t Victoria who drugged me, or abducted me, or…” Or what? I’ll never know exactly what happened to me in the Dark Room; the few memories I _do_ have are blurry and confused. For all Max’s reassurances, the only evidence she’s got is what is – and isn’t – in the photographs she saw.

Alyssa looks stricken. “Fuck, Kate, I didn’t mean to dredge up…”

I wave her apology aside. “It’s fine.” It really isn’t, but I don’t want to dwell on it. “Old news. I even managed to find a silver lining: after my Mom and aunt’s reaction to my suicide attempt, coming out to my family was a little less painful, because I no longer harbored any hope that they might be accepting.”

Alyssa reaches out to take my. “I’m so sorry, Kate. I’m just glad that not all of your family was so shitty.” Me too. “I was lucky; when I cam to my Mom as bi, she just said, ‘I already know, but thank-you for trusting me,’ and when I came out as poly it was, ‘I’m glad you’ve found out what makes you happy.’ Er… do you even know what I mean by poly?”

“Have you met my Maid of Honor?” I ask, and nod to where Izzy’s dancing with Emma and Jack, in a way that leaves no doubt as to the state of their relationship.

“Oh,” says Alyssa, “right. It’s not for you, though, I assume.” I remember my idle thoughts from earlier, and feel my face flush a little. “Kate?”

“No; I mean, probably not. Me being poly is about as likely as me being gay, right?”

“Now I know you’re messing with me.”

“Maybe a little,” I tell her, grinning. “Seriously, though, I don’t need anyone other than Max, and I doubt that’s going to change.”


	8. Hold on to the Memories, They Will Hold on to You

###### Max

My feet ache. I’ve been dancing constantly for what seems like hours, and I need a break. I look around for Kate, and spot her dancing with Emma; she looks happy, so I’m certainly not going to intrude. Instead, I scan the tables, my eyes alighting on Victoria. Our meeting earlier was… abrupt, to say the least. Even she deserves better than that; much as is pains me to admit it, she’s been nothing but kind to us since Blackwell. I head over and ask, “do you mind if I join you?”

“Of course not, give your feet a rest. It may have been a few years since I last went dancing, but I remember what it’s like.” She glances down at my feet. “Seriously, though, flats to your wedding, Max?”

That barb, blunted as it is by her genuine smile, strangely makes me feel better. This is still Victoria, not some weirdly nice pod person who just looks like her. “Yeah, well, I didn’t want to trip back up the aisle literally as well as metaphorically.”

Victoria sniggers, but I can tell she’s laughing with me, rather than at me. “You just needed to practice for a few weeks beforehand. Would that have been too much to do for you bride?”

“Perhaps not,” I allow, “but it never really came up.” I get a sudden, wicked thought. “Besides, Kate was more interested in practicing for our wedding _night_.” I waggle my eyebrows outrageously for good measure.

It doesn’t get quite the response I’m hoping for, but Victoria does go a little bit pink. “TMI, Maxine,” she says.

“Ouch! My full name; I must be in trouble.” We both laugh.

“Dubious footwear choices aside, you look great,” she says. “Really great, and that’s not something I say lightly.”

“Thank-you,” I tell her, surprised and pleased, despite myself. “And thanks for coming, I know it means a lot to Kate that you made the effort. And… it’s actually good to see you.”

“Yes, well, they taught me at finishing school how incredibly rude it is to decline an invitation to a friend’s wedding,” Victoria says. It’s so dead-pan that I’m only ninety percent sure she’s joking. Finishing schools aren’t actually a thing any more, right?

“So it’s not because of the guilt, then?”

“No, I think Kate may have finally convinced me that I can let it go. It’s more that I owe her.”

“For what?” I ask, somewhat baffled.

“For saving my life, duh.”

“Wait… what? I mean, I know she’s the one who found you after the storm, but there were other rescue teams who would have located you eventually.”

“Yeah, maybe, in another day or two. I didn’t have that kind of time; the docs said that another few hours, and I wouldn’t have made it.” Victoria stares at me intently, as all the blood drains from my face. “From the way you’re looking at me right now, I’m guessing that Kate’s never mentioned it to you. That’s so…”

“Very like Kate?” asks another voice. I look up to see Yasmin, who continues, “Quick to praise you for _your_ life-saving work, but never taking credit for her own.” My eyes widen in panic; did she just… “Don’t worry, Victoria already figured out your little secret.” She pulls out a chair, and sits down.

“I saw some weird shit at Blackwell,” Victoria offers, “plus you weren’t entirely subtle this afternoon – and neither was Kate after you got back.” I blush furiously when I realize what she must have overheard; Victoria grins wickedly. “Kate as a top; who would have thought it?”

Yasmin rests a hand on Victoria’s, and looks at her seriously. “You do remember who she’s married to, right?” There’s a beat then they both burst into laughter.

“Aren’t you supposed to be nice to me on my wedding day?” I ask, a little sourly. “And when did you two become so well acquainted, anyway?”

“It was Yasmin who welcomed me to the church this morning, and she was kind enough to spend some time with me this afternoon.”

Yasmin realizes that her hand is still on Victoria’s, and withdraws it. “Sorry, Max, but Victoria missed out on your Hen Night, so she didn’t get a chance to tease you then.” She leans over conspiratorially. “We got them a stripper.”

“Ooh,” says Victoria, “tell me _everything_.”

“I’m leaving now,” I announce as I get up.

“So, you’re not going to believe this, but…” I hear Yasmin beginning as I walk away. Looking around for more civilized company, my eyes alight on Ruth and Lynn chatting a few tables away. Lynn looks up as I approach them.

“Hey, sis!” I turn, expecting to see Kate behind me. “No, you, dummy! You’re our sister-in-law now, which means you just gained a pair of awesome sisters.” Ruth nods vigorously.

“I… I always wanted a sister,” I admit, surprised to find that I’m tearing up a little. “Thanks, ladies.” Ruth pushes out a chair, and I sit down next to her.

“It’s the least we can do,” Ruth says. “You helped Kate to find herself, you look after her, and you make her happy. You’re everything we could have asked for in a partner for our sister. Plus, we spent some time with your parents this afternoon, and they were lovely, welcoming us in to our family too.”

“Thanks for being so accepting, although I’m not surprised about Mom and Dad – sometimes I think they’re more excited to see Kate than they are me. Your mother, on the other hand, didn’t like me even when I was just Kate’s housemate, and now… I’m glad I haven’t had to see her again since Kate came out.” It was over a Skype call with the family. She ranted non-stop for five minutes, then cut the connection. Kate hasn’t spoken to her since.

“I’m so sorry about that. That was a truly awful day, and it didn’t get any better. After she hung up on you two, she turned on us, went on about how we’d better not have known, and how she’d throw us out of the house if we turned out like Kate. I kinda feel like _I_ lost my Mom that day, too. I can’t look at her the same way after she spewed all that hatred at her own daughter. We don’t talk much any more, either.”

“Neither of us has been back home for more than a few days since I moved out of dorms,” Lynn adds, “and I’m only doing that so they keep paying my tuition. After I’ve graduated…”

“You can stay with me, once I’ve got my own place,” Ruth says.

“Or with us,” I add. “Either of you would be welcome to use my old room for a few weeks, or months; I’m sure Kate would be over the moon to have you there.”

“Thanks, Max,” Ruth says. “I really appreciate the offer, because I just… I don’t think I could live under their roof again.”

“Not now that Mother has filled the house with hate,” Lynn adds. “She’s making us choose between her, and our big sister – who’s never given us anything less than unconditional love. It’s kind of a no-brainer.”

“You three really deserve each other,” I tell them.

“We four,” Ruth corrects me, and it’s all I can do not to cry.


	9. I Want Her Midnights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🎶 _I'll be posting new chapters for you on New Year’s Day_ 🎶

###### Victoria

It’s getting late when Alyssa finally comes over; up until that point, I couldn’t decide if I was relieved or annoyed that she’d been avoiding me. “Hey, Victoria,” she says as she sits herself down next to me, “sorry about earlier.”

“It’s fine,” I tell her, because even if it did upset me, I know it was my own behavior coming back to bite me. “I get that I’m the last person you’d expect to see at Kate Marsh’s wedding. And… I’m sorry too. You were on the receiving end of my sharp tongue at Blackwell.”

“And not in the good way,” she quips. “Seriously, though, If Kate and Max can forgive you enough to invite you here after…” Alyssa trails off, probably realizing this isn’t the place to bring all that up. “I feel like I was mostly too far beneath your notice to be worth the time to bully.” Ouch; that stings a little.

“Yeah, I was a really shitty person back then.” I say, trying to hide my exasperation. “And now I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that. Trust me, that’s a pretty fucking good motivator to change.” Alyssa gives me a slightly puzzled expression. “There are plenty of people who think it’s perfectly okay to hate on the woman in the wheelchair.”

“Oh, fuck, I’m sorry Victoria. I didn’t realize.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not like ableism is something that gets a lot of press,” I tell her bitterly. “Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that, despite the fact that we sometimes seem to be backsliding, people are at least talking about things like racism, sexism and homophobia – not least because I’m the victim of two of those, as well – but it would be nice if there was at least a little more intersectionality with the disabled community. I’m just lucky I haven’t had to deal with shit like the War on Straws.”

That gets a rise out of Alyssa, because it turns out that environmental activism is her big thing. We have a lively debate, and I find that my own activism stands me in good stead to explain why some people _need_ straws to be able to drink safely, and the reasons why none of the alternatives to single-use, repositionable plastic straws are acceptable. Plus, seriously, plastic straws are evil but the plastic lids you poke them through aren’t?

Alyssa eventually concedes defeat. “Well, fuck, Victoria; you really have changed, haven’t you? I think I understand why Kate was willing to invite you here, now.”

For some reason, that small concession makes me feel unexpectedly good. “Thanks, it was good to catch up with you.”

“It actually was,” Alyssa agrees as she gets up, then leans over to give me a brief hug. “I’m totally going to friend you on Facebook, but first I need to go and say goodnight to Kate and Max before I head to bed.”

A few moments later, Yasmin slides into the seat Alyssa just vacated. “Making more friends?” she asks.

“Maybe,” I allow. “We certainly weren’t friends in high school, that’s for sure.”

“So… good evening?”

“Yeah, it was – and you’ve been a very attentive hostess.” Yasmin came to chat with me several times, and not just to check if I needed anything; I definitely sensed some interest from her.

“Can I help it if I enjoy spending time with beautiful, intelligent women?”

“It takes one to know one, I suppose.” I can’t help but be pleased by the flattery, though.

Yasmin bites her lower lip, hesitating before saying, “look, there’s something I wanted to ask you, but… I’m not sure how to do it politely.”

“Then ask _im_ politely,” I suggest, already guessing.

“Does… uh… everything work? Down there, I mean.” I’ve had this question asked before, of course. Many times, in many ways, by many people – often complete strangers. Bluntly to my face, in quiet conversations they think I won’t overhear, or shouted drunkenly across the street.

“Yes, I still have full control of my bladder, thank fuck,” I tell her with a straight face.

Yasmin somehow manages to look even _more_ embarrassed. “Um. That’s not quite white I meant.”

I know exactly what she meant, and I’m pretty sure I know why she’s asking, so I weigh up how to respond. I was pleasantly surprised, when I was finally recovered enough to go out and about in my wheelchair, that I still got attention; maybe not as much as before, but I certainly got hit on. After a couple of one-night stands that I wasn’t expecting to only be one-night stands – and a guy openly and offensively admitting that he’d ‘just wanted to bag a cripple’ – my opinion changed, and I became a lot more cautious.

The one serious relationship I’ve had was with a woman who I’d already been friends with for a few months. It was everything I’d hoped for, and she never treated my like I was _less than_ , or my disability as a burden. Those were good times, but we were both young, and ultimately we wanted different things from life, so we amicably parted ways around six months ago – and I haven’t been with anyone since. Yasmin is unquestionably hot, I’ve enjoyed spending time with her and, frankly, I’m horny.

“Then why don’t we go up to my room and you can find out for yourself?”

Yasmin’s jaw drops a little, then a slow smile spreads across her face. “I like the sound of that.”

Five minutes later, Yasmin holds open the heavy fire door of my room – often the bane of my life when staying in hotels – allowing me to wheel straight in. I turn around as soon as there’s space, and beckon to Yasmin as the door closes behind her. She steps forward, a little unsure, and allows me to pull her down into my lap. It’s a little awkward – she can’t exactly straddle me in her floor-length dress – but she doesn’t seem to care about that any more than I do, as her lips eagerly meet mine.

“Would it be okay if I lifted you onto the bed?” she asks a few minutes later. I like that she asks. I also like the idea of those strong arms that I’ve been running my fingers over being wrapped around me.

“Oh, yes.” That may have come out a little more… needy than I intended, but Yasmin just gives me a small smirk then, with one arm under my thighs and the other around my back, effortlessly picks me up. She carries me over to the bed, and ever-so-gently sets me down, with my head resting on a pillow.

I watch, mesmerized, as Yasmin reaches behind her back and slowly pulls down the zip of her dress, then pushes it off her shoulders. It seems to slide down her body almost in slow motion, revealing her perfect physique. My mouth goes dry as I take in the lacy black strapless bra, knickers, and – so help me – a garter belt and stockings. I look forward to removing them all and discovering what’s underneath. I imagine all the things that I want to do to Yasmin, that I want her to do to me.

“I hope you weren’t planning on getting much sleep,” I tell her.

She pounces.


	10. You and Me from the Night Before

###### Kate

It wasn’t quite the wedding night I once envisaged: my husband and I discovering the pleasures of the flesh for the first time, together. This was better, a night spent with a woman whose body I already know – and who knows my body – better than I know my own. Our little getaway after Max foiled the bank heist had barely even taken the edge off. It must have been well after three by the time we finally gave in to sleep, so I’m distinctly unimpressed when the alarm on my phone goes off at eight. “Ugh. Make it stop,” my wife grumbles sleepily, mirroring my thoughts.

I reach over and manage to silence it. “C’mon, time to get up. Imagine the teasing if we don’t make it to breakfast.”

“Imagine the mocking if we do,” Max counters.

“I’m pretty sure that as long as we turn up looking like we haven’t had enough sleep, we’ll be fine.”

“That won’t be difficult,” she mutters.

“Besides, I’m hungry. You can stay in bed if you want, but you won’t get to join me in the shower.” 

_That_ gets her moving.

We eventually make it down to the restaurant with maybe a quarter hour to spare before breakfast ends. Even so, we take the time to say hello to my Grandma and sisters, Max’s parents, Izzy and her partners, before heading to the buffet. We load up a couple of plates each, since we know we won’t have the chance to come back. It’s only as we’re sitting down to eat that I realize a member of our wedding party is missing. Yasmin arrives just in time for last orders, with none other than Victoria at her side. They both look like they’ve had even less sleep than Max and I. Glancing around, I see that ours is the only table left with a couple of seats available, so when they hesitantly head in our direction, I get up to pull aside one of the chairs for Victoria.

“Thanks, Kate,” she says warmly.

“You’re welcome,” I tell her. “I’m glad you two made it.” She doesn’t deny anything, but Max takes a less subtle approach.

“So,” she says to Yasmin, “you and Victoria?”

“Um,” says Yasmin.

“Er…” says Victoria. They’re clearly not ready to be put on the spot, so I take pity on them.

“There’s no need to pry, Max, they clearly haven’t had chance to think past the sex yet.” Okay, so only a little pity. Victoria chokes on a mouthful of waffle, and Yasmin slaps her on the back, shooting an amused glare in my direction.

“Kate Marsh, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Victoria asks me when her coughing has subsided.

That stings a little. “I haven’t seen my mother in years,” I tell her shortly.

“Oh.” She flushes with embarrassment. “Kate, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Victoria,” I say, not entirely truthfully.

Yasmin, bless her, changes the subject. “So, um, Seattle really isn’t that far from here,” she says to Victoria, “and I, uh, would _really_ like to see you again. Maybe I could… come up and visit you sometime?”

Victoria’s initial surprise is quickly replaced by a smile. “I’d like that very much. Do you have any plans for next weekend?”

“Unfortunately, I’m on duty.” She pulls out her phone, and a moment later they’re comparing calendars, eventually settling on a date the following week.

Max leans into me, whispering, “okay, so now I’m actually glad you invited Victoria. Those two are really quite cute together, and I haven’t seen Yasmin this happy in a very long time.”

“I hope you’re right,” I whisper back, “because they could both get badly hurt if this doesn’t work out. More than most people.”

“Are you two done talking about us?” Victoria asks, with a touch of her old snark. When I look round, I see her lip curved not in sneer, but in a smirk.

“We were placing bets on when we’d get _our_ wedding invites,” Max says, with poorly-feigned innocence.

“Oh,” says Yasmin. “Like Kate said, we haven’t really though past the sex yet. I mean, I guess we’ll need to make some time to eat on our date.”

“And sleep,” Victoria adds.

“Yeah, I guess we should probably get some sleep, too, but other than that…”

“Sounds like our honeymoon plans,” I tell them, unrepentant.

“I think we’ll be adding some ‘lying in the beach’ into the mix as well,” Max says.

“Where exactly are you going?” Victoria asks.

“It’s a secret,” I say, “although probably not for long if you follow Max’s Insta feed.” While that may have started with scans of Polaroids – and a play on words – my wife long ago embraced digital photography for being more instant in a different way.

“And speaking of that,” Max says, ignoring my gentle gibe, “we need to get going soon; flights to catch and all that.”

“We should eat up, then,” says Yasmin. “We wouldn’t want to miss your _grand départ_.”

A little over a quarter hour later, we’re retrieving our luggage from the front desk, along with the suit and dress bags which Yasmin had volunteered to drop off at our apartment. Our Uber driver is somewhat non-plussed by the number of people seeing us off, but we quickly say our final farewells and are on our way to PDX.

“Ready for some relaxation?” Max asks.

“Definitely,” I tell her with feeling. “Two weeks on a Caribbean beach sounds heavenly right about now.” I lean over to whisper in her ear. “Not to mention all the time in bed with my bride.” I laugh with pure joy as she blushes furiously.

I know it’ll only be a couple of days, three tops before Max drags me away from the beach and into San Juan to do some sightseeing – and make use of her cameras. That’s fine by me; even with a fully-loaded e-reader, I’d get bored of just lounging around well before our two weeks are up. As long as I get to spend the entire time with my wife, that’s all that matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Portland Ninja Will Return…
> 
> …I'm just not sure exactly when. The plot bunny for the next story had the temerity to come along in the middle of the night, so I don't really remember most of it. Thanks for reading this far, though!


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